The Resolution!
Good bye 2020 and hello 2021. It was a tough year but there was some good. One of my best moments was the birth of my second daughter Esme.
It is no surprise that 2020 has been a tough year for many; however, there are still goals and moments that we can say were amazing. The birth of my second daughter was that defining moment for me and our family. My wife and I also, had to quickly change goals and reshape how we lived, as did everyone else. If you found yourself without a goal or moment in this year, make a stand to change that going forward. We can all promise ourselves we are going to be different for the New Year. These promise can often be short lived and leave us feeling disappointed; however, we can change this by taking a stand right here and right now. YOU are in control and YOU have the power to change your mind and your life! We don’t have to wait for the New Year to make changes, we can give ourselves permission to change. Let’s identify some causes that lead us to fail these resolutions. Then I’ll give you some advice on how to avoid setting yourself up for failure.
Let’s start by identifying reasons why we fail to commit to our New Year resolution. An article in psychologytoday.com written by Beverly D. Flaxington, helps us to further identify these reasons. As I touch base on the article, I will add some of my own thoughts.
“Your expectations were not realistic” - Unrealistic expectations are definitely a good reason to feel like you can never achieve your goals. If you set a goal that is way too far out of reach then of course you will be bound to fail. I will put myself “on the spot” to illustrate this example. When I first started Hybrid-Training LLC I set a goal of having a studio and having that studio be at max capacity in the first year. Well I can tell you that was unrealistic, plus my service and ideas have dramatically changed since those beginning days. I now set reasonable goals for the week, month and year. I also, allow room for new goals to be inserted into the process. If 2020 taught us one thing it is that we have to be adaptable and change in order to succeed.
“Your resolutions were not properly defined.” - Sometime we can be way to board with our goals. Then we are stuck never feeling like we are making progress because we are not aiming at anything, as Zig Ziglar say, “If you aim for nothing you will hit it every time.” Defining your goals to be specific which can look like I want to lose 20 pounds in 6 months. There are well defined numbers here which can be broken down into smaller more achievable steps of 0.83 pounds per week for 24 weeks. This is a clear picture and you know what you need to achieve in order to get it done. Beverly uses the “S.M.A.R.T. “(specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound) method in her article; however, the S.M.A.R.T term was actually first seen by George T. Doran in 1981. Regardless, of the details of where it came from it is a very useful acronym that is easy to remember.
“You didn’t have the right mindset” - “Wanting something and working towards getting it are two fundamentally different things” explains Beverly in her article. We can only change our life if we have the right mindset. When we set goals they must be worked on consistently which means we must have a big enough reason to change. Most goals we set for the New Year’s resolution are not small, so mindset is important to achieve them. If you set a goal to run a marathon, then that will require you dedicate many hours to training per weeks. There are going to be moments that you ask yourself, "Why am I doing this?” If your why is not big enough then you will not do it. When you set your mind on something big make sure your why is bigger.
“Your time management skills are lacking” - We all have the same hours in a day; however, not the same discipline to track or use it intentionally. If you set your schedule up and prioritize the goal in your schedule then it becomes top of mind. You must get clear on where your time is going so you know if you a wasting or spending it on less meaningful task that do not get you closer to your goal. Beverly states “Managing your time effectively is not about crossing all the entries off your to-do list; it is about knowing what your priorities are and getting the right things done first.” This is an interesting point because even I struggle with understanding that a to-do list and time management should not be different. If you try to squeeze in your to-do list after you complete your schedule, you will be left jamming task into your day.
“You are living distracted” - When we are distracted tasks become more difficult to complete. We can externally have many of these distraction all around us on a daily basis from sounds, sights and/or other factors. This may make it feel impossible or frustrating to even start the task in the first place. Personally I have ADD, so I know all too well how distractions can ruin a perfectly well intended task, goal or plan. I have learned that if I am going to get anything done. I have to make sure to eliminate avoidable distractions such as the television or the wrong music for the situation. Then reduce external, less controllable factors, like other family member speaking around me. Lastly, are the the factors we have zero control of which is pretty much everything else; however, simply trying to control as much of the first two as possible goes a long way to living a less distracted life.
In conclusion, I would like to point out that it is important to set goal in your life. It is not important to wait to the end of the year to act on new goals you think of throughout this year. Instead, you should act on them as soon as they seem important enough to label them a goal. Your why will be fresh and your energy will be high; however, If you wait it will most likely never happen. Additionally, we had discussed 5 key points why resolution can fail; however, they should never discourage you from trying if you have trouble in these areas. I can tell you that the more you try to avoid these problem the easier it will become to overcome. I hope you continue to challenge yourself to make goals and make progress because we are all capable of achieve our goals
Happy New Year to all!